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The Past | The Future

Thoughts and Opinions....

 Right, gang, I have embarked upon writing my own original novel, and I'm relatively happy thus far, but I need some input on a particular moment. 

Yes, I have a sex scene - it's not graphic and it's suppose to be a romantic scene. Any and all input would be greatly received. 

‘Are you sure you’re alright?’ asked Faron as their feet crunched the gravel of the drive way to the Relandron Manor. Amelia had been close to silent since leaving the company of Deryn and Thara.

‘Yes,’ she said smiling, ‘just trying to remember what Nolc did before I passed out.’

‘He wouldn’t say,’ replied Faron, ‘you should push the matter with him.’

Amelia looked up at him. ‘You’re assuming that he will tell me instead of informing me it’s for my own good.’ Then she smiled. ‘I heard what you said, about letting me be who I want to be. Thank you for saying it but you know Nolc is right. What I want will never overshadow what I am.’

‘I know,’ he admitted. ‘You have more layers than an onion.’

She laughed. ‘An onion?’ she enquired.

‘Bad analogy,’ he said with a laugh. ‘Perhaps cake, everyone likes cake.’

‘I’d have to be fifteen layers high,’ she replied.

‘With jam and icing,’ he licked his lips making both of them laugh out aloud. Then he looked up at the house. ‘Dad is awake,’ he said looking up at the second storey.

Amelia looked in the same direction. ‘What can he do?’ she asked squeezing his hand. ‘Come on,’ she pulled at him lightly as they reached the steps up to the Manor.

She pushed the handle of the door down and she half expected Eryon to stood waiting for them in the entrance, but the whole of the downstairs was darkened bar for the small amount of light filtering down from the second floor. Together they both let out a breath they had been holding and looked at each other.

‘Do you need something for your head?’ he asked.

Amelia rubbed her temple and nodded. ‘I’ll wait for you upstairs?’

Faron smiled at her. ‘I’ll be up in a minute.’

Amelia made her way to her room; it was a large airy place with high windows and loose drapes that fluttered in the wind. Her bed was craved from wood and rose to the ceilings; it too had drapes, white and blue, that fell like a waterfall to pool in the four corners of the bed. She walked to her dresser and picked up a box of matches and went around the room lighting the candles she had previously set out.

It was her home from home, made even more homely by Faron’s touches to the room; a tie thrown over a chair and his aftershave sat on the dresser with the lid off.

Stood alone she looked around and exhaled acknowledging her sudden nervousness; she couldn’t help but feel she had a whole new level of expectation to live up to. Amelia knew she was being ridiculous. She and Faron had been together long enough to know what to expect of each other. It didn’t stop her shaking like a leaf. She walked over to the window and took a deep breath of the cooling air that was floating in.

The door closed behind her and she heard the chinking of glass being set down before Faron wrapped his arms around her. He pressed a kiss just below her ear and she leant back into his warm chest.

‘You’re shaking,’ he said letting her go to close the window, but she stopped him before turning in his arms. His hand rested on the small of her back as she leant her head on his shoulder. ‘I brought up some wine.’

He let go of her to capture her hand in his and led her to where he had placed the wine beside the stereo. Amelia flipped the on button and the sound of a string section filled the room as Faron poured the wine into two tall goblets. She listened to the slow notes humming along to the familiar notes as Faron passed her one of the glasses.

‘I don’t understand why you like this one so much,’ he said, remarking on the music whilst taking a sip of his wine.

Amelia smiled as she drank from her own glass. ‘Because it’s beautiful,’ she said simply. ‘You’re too critical of it.’

‘Perhaps you aren’t critical enough,’ he replied before pulling her into a kiss. ‘I think the opinion of the composer somewhat blinds you to flaws in the piece.’

Their lips moved together in perfect sync in a seduction that left Amelia weak at the knees. She managed to place her glass back on the side before wrapping her arm around his neck and burying her hand in his hair. Her body arched into his as Faron’s arms ran down the sides of her back before they came to a halt on her hips.
Faron’s lips left Amelia’s and travelled along her jawline to the soft spot on her neck that made her sigh. ‘You’re more beautiful today that I’ve ever seen you before,’ he whispered in her ear.

‘I hope you aren’t counting this morning,’ she replied.

Their eyes met; the flickering candles enhanced the smouldering look of desire in Faron’s eyes and left Amelia wanting him more than she could ever previously remember.

‘You were stunning this morning,’ he said his lips hitching upward a little. ‘Particularly when you were crying out my name in the shower after you agreed to be my wife.’

Amelia gently swotted his arm but smiled at him while his lips started to attack neck again. Faron’s hands moved back along the length of her spine coursing her to sigh again. Her hands moved to his front and the buttons of his shirt and her slender fingers slipped the buttons though their holes leaving his firm but soft chest exposed.
Faron removed her clothes with gentle reverence; he had always been tender with her but this was different. It was more intense than anything she had felt with him before. She fleetingly wondered if it was the magic used to bond them was taking its final effect on them. However, any thought of what was happening between them was pushed from her mind as Faron started to move her toward the bed.

Their lips were still locked as fingers delicately roamed over each other. They broke to look at each other as they lay down on the bed; Faron’s body covered hers as she brought her legs up to wrap around his waist. His lips dropped to hers as he entered her with infinite tenderness; Amelia whimpered softly against his lips as he withdrew before pushing himself further within her.

Everything stilled and the newlywed couple gazed at one another. Amelia took the moment to drink in the man before her; his brow slightly wet from a thin sheen of sweat, his chocolate eyes were wide, hungry and looking at her with something close to awe.
Amelia caressed his cheek then tangled her hand in his hair bring his lips back to hers. As their lips met the couple started to move slowly against each other and she soon lost herself to him.

Do I need to say, please don't steal this.


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Jul. 16th, 2011 07:15 pm (UTC)
ceiling seems like it should be singular

"ehaled, acknowledging"?

"glass back on the side" of what?

swotted -> swatted? Apparently this is a variation in spelling? But swot=hard work/study and I'm American so had never seen swot before. lol

The very beginning conversation and Amelia's nervousness set a bit of an odd setting for this. I like your description of the room, it sounds lovely, but there seems to be a tinge of menace because i'm not sure what's going on with the other details.

I used to get really nervous about writing sex scenes but have gotten used to it. This is very understated and sweet.
Jul. 16th, 2011 07:17 pm (UTC)
That should be "exhaled" not ehaled. Stupid keyboard can't keep up with me.
Jul. 16th, 2011 10:36 pm (UTC)
The nervousness bit is explained a little earlier in the manuscript... to be honest, I didn't want to put up over two chapters worth of work.

I'm impressed you find a bit of menace, it's a bit of a calm before the storm moment.

As for sex, it's pain - either too blue or too formal.

Thanks... I've made a couple of changes to where I messed up (first draft - it's riddled with mistakes lol)
Nov. 3rd, 2011 07:05 am (UTC)
Reading this was such a great help. Anti aging skin products is such a complicated thing and this article explained it well. Many thanks to this new information.

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